Last week I experimented with filming myself drawing and redrawing the assessment chart. I tried to film in morning light as a way of bringing together two types of time and a link to ecologies (with a nod to Carolyn Lazard and Jade Montserrat). BUT I keep failing, I am not a film maker and the filming is out of focus, is too dark, doesn’t fit in the frame, stops before the end, also, because I am tired, I get up too late for the sun, my body aches from drawing this way and I have to stop repeatedly. It is incredibly frustrating but then I realise this is the process. This is the ridicularity and failure I am trying to embrace. And the rub against normative aesthetic, even architectural, desires to make it neat and tidy is palpable.


















































