I am slowly, deeply and intentionally breathing into Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ book ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’

I have a lot to process and it feels important to: Go deep.

“What would allow you to look at what is under your actions, and under that, and under that? ”

“And the ocean itself has so many depth lessons, when you think you’ve reached the bottom, there is sometimes still deeper to go…”

“Take a breath”

Extract from ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’ by Alexis Pauline Gumbs’, Chapter: ‘Go Deep.’

I am slowly, deeply and intentionally breathing into Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ book ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’

I have a lot to process and it feels important to: Be vulnerable.

“I wonder what our sensitive edges have to teach us.”

“…our tendency to hurt people who have already been hurt in similar ways to us, and what it takes to actually lead on the issues that have impacted us the most.”

Extract from ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’ by Alexis Pauline Gumbs’, Chapter: ‘Be Vulnerable’

I am slowly, deeply and intentionally breathing into Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ book ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’

I have a lot to process and it feels important to: Listen.

“Listening is not only about the normative ability to hear, it is a transformative and revolutionary resource that requires quieting down and tuning in.”

“…opening a space to uplift the practice of listening even more than the practices of showing and proving and speaking up…”

Extract from ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’ by Alexis Pauline Gumbs’, Chapter: ‘Rest’

I am slowly, deeply and intentionally breathing into Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ book ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’

I have a lot to process and it feels important to: Rest

“I have heard people praised over and over again as “tireless,” right through their exhaustion and death. I myself have forgotten to eat.”

“…And we deserve space to reflect on what we made…”

Extract from ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’ by Alexis Pauline Gumbs’, Chapter: ‘Rest’

I am granting myself permission.

Video 1: my reflections unfold in realtime.

video 2: my reflections are voiced.

My reflections – full text – below

I am contemplating my blog posts on this platform.

I am wanting to grant myself PERMISSION to use this blog space for REFLECTION. 

In order to REFLECT I feel I need some SLOWING DOWN, RESTING, PAUSING time…to ALLOW my mind, heart, body etc. to RELAX, LET GO + BE. 

And to do that I need to grant myself PERMISSION…

• I need to grant myself PERMISSION…
• I need to grant myself PERMISSION…
• I need to grant myself PERMISSION…

I hereby grant Rebekah Ubuntu, (aka me, myself and I), permission to…

• SLOW DOWN, REST, PAUSE… 

I hereby grant Rebekah Ubuntu, (aka me, myself and I), permission to…

• ALLOW  my mind, heart, body etc. to RELAX, LET GO + BE. 

I think a lot about how resting, reflecting and repose are all about permission.

I feel conflicted about work and rest. Like the two oppose each other and lead to a sense of dissatisfaction.

To reflect, requires repose, pause, slowing down.

Yet, the pace with which I have been enculturated, I’d say from the age of five or so, is so fast. It’s a constant busy-ness for the sake of busy-ness type feeling. And it has shaped the way I conceive of most, if not all things, including my own sense of intrinsic value.

The issue I am already confronting (for the sake of this residency) is:

I don’t know HOW to really REST if it isn’t about SLEEPING, NAPPING or RESTING to RECOVER from an illness or fatigue. I don’t feel a sense of embodied understanding around a NATURAL STATE of REST.

For example, I am always thinking…about what’s next. What’s next for this blog, what’s next for this project or that, what’s next for my career, what’s next for my life…

I am choosing to free write – and record it as it’s happening. I guess I want to remove my tendencies towards PERFECTIONISM which I think is linked to this sense I have of NEEDING PERMISSION to REST.

Like I need PERMISSION to SLOW DOWN.

So recording myself write this, removes the self-censoring, self-editing, self-criticism and allows for an acceptance of what is.

Perhaps that’s what REST allows too…a sense of ACCEPTANCE.

I immediately feel inclined towards GRATITUDE also as an ANTIDOTE to the BUSY-NESS…

To get me started in this residency space I am slowly, deeply and intentionally breathing into Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ book ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’

I have a lot to process and it feels important to:

Slow Down

“What if we could release ourselves from an internalised time clock and remember that slow is efficient, slow is effective, slow is beautiful?“

Extract from ‘Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals’ by Alexis Pauline Gumbs’, Chapter: ‘Slow Down’

“…slow is efficient, slow is effective, slow is beautiful…”