A photograph of two objects lying on a light blue surface: a book of poetry called "Mycelial Person" by Amanda Monti and a knitted winter hat next to it. The pallette of the book cover matches perfectly the colours of the hat. The book cover also has a drawing of a person wearing a mushroom hat, and the winter hat in the picture can be loosely described as mushroom-shaped as well.
A photo of a book Mycelial Person by Amanda Monti next to a knitted hat I impulsively bought in a charity shop last week.

Is this the greatest hat + book combo ever? they match so perfectly the only answer is YES or I’d need to see some photo evidence from you to prove me wrong

they are my source of warmth for now because…

(Content Warning: COVID and isolation)

I tested positive for COVID on Saturday, 1 day after the residency started. Despite the frustration, I am still lucky because I don’t have physical conditions that could put my life in serious danger in this situation, I have access to healthcare, I have some money and a regular job. I have a house to stay in now, and a house that I will move to next month.

I am holding in my heart those who find themselves in a scenario drastically different from this one. I know the terror.

Yet, it was still triggering to realise I am ill and stuck being alone again. Ill and alone. again. ill again. alone again.

I am okay now, I had some support to process my feelings. Since starting No Bad Parts, it has helped me so much to try to befriend and earn the trust of that panicked, catastrophising, upset part of me. To gently ask that part what it is trying to say, why it hurts and what its story is. There’s always a story, and sometimes the stories are too big for us to see and hold at once.

My plan for this residency was simple: to be myself and to find some rest. And I’m starting it off not with my perfect idea of creative connected luxurious downtime, it is starting with lying lethargically in bed, taking pills for my inflamed sinuses, and dodging phone calls. I want to roll my eyes disappointingly and say “classic..” but also it reminds me to put things into perspective.

I’m sure there is a smart point I could make about disability lens somewhere here, but writing is effort, writing is labour, writing is hard on the body and my body is gently yet rightfully directing me towards a nap.

stay and keep each other safe x

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