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Laura Lulika

Introduction:

I'm a sad Android, sat here on my own. On these glowing blue blocks. My body completely made of home massagers and pain aids. Foam rollers, spiky balls, massage guns. And here I am still in pain, head in my hands. Looking down at my feet. All I see is an old man smiling back up at me. Oh, oh, my back. My back there’s things growing out of my back. There are these people’s heads. These women and they’re all wearing these inflatable neck braces and they look so happy and content to be wearing their inflatable neck braces. Their hair scraped back. Their smiles. Their soft, gentle facial expressions. All over my back. And here I am. Sat alone in a blue square on a blue box. My glowing head and my red scalp massager hand.

Oh, here I am again. Pulling pints in the local, me big mahogany shiny bar, fully stocked with snacks and drinks. But the only problem is I'm here every day with the locals, just a bunch of blue ghosts. And I'm one too. Here you can see him sat in the pub. One sat in a red chair look, head in hands. Golden red glowing pain points all over the body. There's another one over there in the corner on that barstool, head in hands. This one's brains glowing and all its joints. Poor sausage. And then on the top right there over in the darts corner. We've got the whole skeleton on view. Hand on heart. Red glowing head. Just trying to play a better darts over there. It's not the most exciting looking pub. But it's where I spend most of my time. And behind the darts corner there you'll see it's all sports viewing area. We’ve got a nice 80s patterned orange carpet. Wooden stage seating area rolled around. As you can see. Nice silvery foil curtain and the big flat screen telly where you can watch all your games. Why don't you go and have a look what’s on now? You sit down and get comfy love, I'll pull you a pint.

I'm here one Lulika's Frankenstein monster mascots, and my body is made of many mascot body parts and I'm flying through the air. My arms outstretched trying to get the football, but I'm just diving. One leg bent the other outstretched. Legs akimbo. My head is made from a red eagle head. I've got angry eyebrows and a yellow beak. My right arm is made from a blue and green lobster claw and my left arm is orange and has many fingers. My right outstretched leg is yellow, orange and red with a big old thumb and three toes. My left leg looks like maybe it belonged to a Teddy bear. It's brown and has a big brown foot claw type thing. And my body is a dalmatian, white with black spots. My hands are in the air, my legs akimbo. I'm trying to get the ball, but I'm diving.

Oh, hey there. I'm lumpy muscle friend, and I'm just leaning here waiting for you in my black tank top and my ripped bootleg jeans, just laying in here with my head tipped to one side. But my head isn't the head it's muscles because I'm lumpy muscle friend! And there's muscles growing out of my muscle head, muscles on top of muscles and muscles inside muscles and muscles that you didn't even know could exist. And there's muscles growing around the muscles with clenched fists, growing out of the muscles and veins all over the muscles because I'm lumpy muscle friend! And I'm here and there's a whole frame of muscles growing out of my head, and it's all chunky and lumpy and muscly, all different kinds of muscles and shapes of muscles and size of muscles. And then inside my muscle frame, there is a video and the video has another muscle friend and this muscle friend is wearing a mesh muscle suit. Yeah, with fake muscles, not real muscles like mine because I'm the best lumpy muscle friend. And this muscle friend has just got fake muscles with that real body underneath and they're dancing. And sometimes they're wearing a colourful P.E. kit, and sometimes they're holding a scarf and waving it, like a football fan and they're opening their mouth. They look angry like a wrestler, and they're dancing, and they're moving. They're posing like a bodybuilder and on a podium, like in a bodybuilding competition in different positions, and they're moving and dancing around the screen and there's bubbles and liquid and everything's dripping and weird and different colors, like orange and red and green and blue. And I'm lumpy muscle friend. And this is the video inside my muscle frame head. So, I hope you enjoy it, muscle friends.

I am a shell. A body. And I’m not made of flesh. I’m made of hard metal. I’m a car body. An auto body. And this is a diagram of my anatomy. I have a tight fascia. Chassis ache. Pelvic trauma. Access please. I have a soft bottom, an intravenous resistance. I have a thyroid and a WebMD. I have frontline work. And a side effect. And a hard top.

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