I find the theatrics of men’s footy and ‘time-wasting’ simultaneously irritating and comical. It’s not surprising that in the less popular and historically less lucrative Women’s footy, the players spend less time pretending to be hurt.

The performance of ‘being fouled’ reminds me of the need to perform disability in certain situations. This is something that we shouldn’t have to do but are sometimes forced into so that we are considered worthy of the care we need. Of course the circumstances and reasons are wildly different to the multimillion pound ‘beautiful game’ but the ridiculousness isn’t so far apart.

In a system that is constantly trying to catch you out and take away the very limited and basic support and care you’re entitled to, sometimes you have to show them what it’s like on your worst day. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) is known for spying on disabled people and wrongly accusing them of fraud, taking them to court, siezing their property, rejecting appeals for support in their unfair ‘Fit to Work’ assessments and causing thousands of deaths of sick and disabled people every year. Sick and disabled people live in fear of being not disabled enough or the wrong kind of disabled. Either too scared to apply for any support in the first place or living in fear of having their support taken away.

I wonder, what do we have to do to be believed? Should I throw myself on the ground and weep in front of you, my face in my hands, grasping at every part of me that hurts? It’s foul!